A conversation with my Dad this weekend zapped me out of a no-running funk.
I told him I was volunteering for a second race. They were three days apart.
Dad: “Have you run this week?
Dad: Pause. “Are you still running?”
Dad: “Better stop procrastinating. Gotta do what you gotta do.”
I had to laugh. Months ago he was asking me why I was running so much! It had been 14 days since my last run. A week ago, I had a major panic attack at 3 a.m. I’m back on track now, thanks to being pro-active and reaching out to people as well as using different coping skills.
But I notice that lately if I’m in a bad mood or struggling to accept something, my friends and family ask about my running:
“Would a run help?”
“Have you run today?”
It’s sweet and reassuring. It means they’re paying attention.
It’s an alert that maybe running is more important to me than I even noticed.
And I’m starting to get it. If you lace up and go consistently, especially when you don’t want to– running becomes a vital aspect of your routine. It’s another source of stability in your life; something you do regardless of your moods or even if you feel a little ill.
Dory told us, “Just keep swimming.”
I want to be like her. In my case however, the mantra is “Just keep running.”
I’m so hard on myself. I need to stop comparing myself to other runners.
And when I volunteered at these races, my running friends were thankful for my support on the course. But they also made a point to ask why I wasn’t running it.
“You gotta get back to running!” one person told me.
“It’s great to have you out there cheering,” said another, “but you need to get out there kicking some ass.”
That made me laugh. Me, kicking ass at a circa 14 minute a mile pace? But I realized, that’s just my own insecurity.
I’m racing on a regular basis. In the pictures, I’m clearly working hard. I’ve got a good stride, I’m IN IT. I LOOK like a runner.
Even if I don’t always feel like one.
Tonight I was well-rested and got a lot done at work! I came home excited to run. I broke it in half: I ran to and from someplace I was going. It wasn’t quite 3 miles– 2.92 when I added up both distances.
But I already feel more sane. And going home was easier, I was faster.
I’ve got a 5k this weekend, and there are several races from September to November I’m planning. GAME ON, I’m ready!!