I’m struggling with running since I decided to get serious about it.
I signed up for a training class leading up to my first 10k race and also joined a local run club, to motivate me and better prepare.
I noticed that on days when there were group runs, I was stoked! One day last I even ran before AND after work.
These people are hardcore. There is a calendar of scheduled runs and races and they run no matter the elements! I love that. I’ve run in a thunderstorm once years ago, it was hella fun!
Adventure is in my soul, I just need to unleash it.
While it’s awesome to belong to a new organization, it’s also reminding me how much of a beginner I am. It’s good to be surrounded by such accomplished veterans, from whom I can learn so much. But it’s also hard to be the slowest kid in the pack.
Freshman year of high school, I gave up at this point. I gave up because I was the slowest. I also remember it was hell on my lungs. I tried out for a play and never played sports again… until I returned to running as an adult.
But there’s more motivation this time. Also, my body seems more resilient.
It’s not even just about wanting to be healthy and challenge myself physically and emotionally.
There are friendships to be made by doing this. These people are encouraging.
I can ask them all the questions I want. But I have to prove myself, too.
I set ambitious race goals for myself– my next three will all push me in a different way.
The Bank of America Shamrock Shuffle has a time limit– my first of that type. If I don’t finish in 1 hour and 15 minutes, I don’t count as a finisher. I typically need 1 hour 30 minutes for five miles– the length of this race. (It’s called an 8k.)
But instead of backing out, I doubled-down and registered. I will do it!
Most other members are running this race as well and I’m on a team within the club!
I WANT this. I will make it happen. And hey, I’m Irish! That’s gotta help. 🙂
I’ve received nothing but encouragement. But I can’t psych myself out.
I just haven’t wanted to get up and GO this week. But if I make weather excuses now, it will be no different this summer when it gets humid and hot.
I want to run farther, faster. I want to run with strategy and goals.
The only one who can do that is me.
No one else is going to make me faster. Only I can push myself to run farther.
Until now I’ve just raced to complete them and have fun. But now it’s a new level.
And I need to become accountable to myself– not just a class or a group run.
I will keep going! But I also need to be less harsh on myself.
This is a big lifestyle change for me, transitioning to early morning runs rather than afternoon and evening runs when it’s convenient.
I haven’t missed a class– that’s something.
I also need to learn to eat better, for fuel and so I can achieve my goals.
But one thing at a time!
Getting my feelings out and admitting them IS accountability. I’ll blog myself through it.