How to Stop Envy

That’s the dilemma I’m trying to solve this Easter season!

I love this song and the lyrics and particularly the video.

Although the lyrics are written in third person, how could this glorious rock classic have been born without some substantial envy? She’s venting about feeling ignored at first, but the overcoming that. Then also talking about the envy others feel toward her– and despite her own fame, she feels jaded.

“You better watch out

What you wish for

It better be worth it

So much to die for”

But the ending stanza is the best–

“You want a part of me?

Well I’m not selling cheap.

No, I’m not selling cheap.”

She refuses to let fame and her fans define her. She’s holding something back for herself– strength, pieces of mystery that are important to her. She knows her worth.

Bad ass!

For myself, I’m just doing a few things to help.

When I catch that feeling niggling at me, I shut it down.

Envy is negative and petty, it’s childish. It fuels gossip.

Though not any type of mindfulness devotee, I am choosing my thoughts.

Instead, I try to counter that thought with something positive about the person provoking my envy. Turn it around– what do I admire about this person, how do they inspire me?

What could they teach me, if I’m open to learn?

Then I affirm myself, so I don’t get trapped in a competitive cycle.

Often envy happens when we perceive ourselves as less-than said person– less accomplished, less intelligent, less attractive, less settled in life, what have you.

For me, anyway.

Now I dismiss the thought and then focus on something constructive. An activity!

If that’s not working, I’ll journal about it. That’s what I’ve got so far! Happy Friday.

How do *you combat those poisonous feelings of envy? Tell me in the comments!

 

 

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2 comments on “How to Stop Envy

  1. Richard Curl says:

    Henrik Edberg wrote a piece for The Positivity Blog dealing with envy. In it envy is compared to a little devil that sits on your shoulder whispering words in your ear, gnashing at your soul and filling life with suffering and negativity. Of the five or so tips for defeating envy, I like ‘focus on yourself when it comes to comparing’ best. Comparing yourself to others is only a short-term high. Comparing yourself to yourself will make you more positive and emotionally stable since you are no longer comparing and feeling envious of what the other person has that you don’t. By this I mean look at yourself and focus on your accomplishments. Your running, your devotion to your faith and family, and this blog are all wonderful accomplishments to be proud of. Keep building on that. 🙂

    “Envy consists of seeing things never in themselves, but only in their relations. If you desire glory, you may envy Napoleon, but Napoleon envied Caesar, Caesar envied Alexander, and Alexander, I dare say, envied Hercules, who never existed.” – Bertrand Russell

    • Ooooh, I like that! Envy IS a little devil– I picture the the little red imp in “Hercules,” that sits by Hades side. If I starve that bugger, he’ll evaporate, right? 😉

      I’m trying not to compare myself at all , since sometimes I had qualities at a younger age that I miss now. But age brings wisdom! The whole ethos of running as a sport is that you learn that you’re not actually competing with other runners– but only what *you are capable of individually. One thing that’s helping to motivate me is I made a Pinterest board for running, and every day I pin images and quotes that spur me on to continue.It sounds silly, but it’s really working! People are starting to like and save my pins, and I’m getting followers to my board! Running is a community of crazy people. 🙂 Thank God!

      And thanks for the compliments about my running, my faith, and my family– those are the nucleus of me. And my little blog! It’s an outlet I’m lucky to have. As I’m lucky to have you as a reader and prolific commenter!

      And good points– envy doesn’t go anywhere– it’s never-ending ambition that can’t be fulfilled. Well said, Mr. Russell.

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