Recently, I had the chance to get to know a single man. Attractive.
We went out for dinner, but it wasn’t a “date,” according to him.
I rolled with it. I laughed.
Talking with him was so easy!
We told each other things– asked questions, silly and deep.
Discovered common interests and made up inside jokes.
And the best of all– the phone calls.
He actually liked talking on the phone.
Without my asking, he called me. Regularly.
He sent me a friend request, but I didn’t add him. I wanted to see where it went first.
See if we were actually compatible.
There was one conversation where we could barely hang up, we were so giddy.
But from that “non-date” dinner, he was also honest.
He is recovering from a pretty intense break-up. They still talk.
I make clean breaks with my exes.
And I was able to stop myself.
My heart said, “What are you doing? This can’t go anywhere.”
And I knew it was right.
But I learned something wonderful.
I don’t want to be friends with him
I want a date to be called a date, from the beginning.
And I deserve it.
And so I made the decision, rather than passively waiting it out.
I told him that I’m looking for a relationship, and he’s clearly not available for that.
I wished him luck, told him goodbye.
He accepted my decision.
And I felt immediately peaceful.
And it’s not like a closed a door. Instead, I accepted that the door was *not open* at all.
I decided not to wait by a closed door, hoping it will change.
And now I am walking forward.
Available for the time when a door will open to me.
Fully open, only for me.