My 2016 is off to an excellent beginning.
Yesterday I worked, stopped by a new friend’s NYE party, and then rang in Midnight with my parents. I got back in town at 11:37 pm..— just in time to watch the countdown.
And I was surprised by how happy I was to be with them, how comfortable it was. They got up out of their chairs and I convinced them to dance at midnight and take some pictures with me! I felt loved and blessed.
In 2015 I joined a gospel choir at my church, started running 5K’s and summoned up the courage to apply to and land a new job! And I love the changes both have brought to my routine– the people I’ve met.
The stability of going to the same office with the same co-workers and the same clients every day gives me tremendous comfort. I know many resent the 9-5 office life, but I love it! After working so many jobs over the years with fluctuating schedules, different store locations, constant sales pressure and policy changes– this new job is a breath of fresh air.
I feel open and excited about the year to follow. And FINALLY, I have weekends and holidays off and a reliable job where I’m always done by 5. It truly was the perfect job at the perfect time for me. I didn’t have to force anything to make it happen and I’m always moving forward, taking on new responsibilities and adjusting.
In fact, this week I celebrated my six-month anniversary as an employee. I officially have job security!! I feel grounded in a new way.
And to me, that’s more exciting than if I was celebrating a relationship anniversary– because this celebration is all about what I’ve created for myself. It’s about a team of people who have stepped up and shown me that I’m a valued team member. I work in an office where we all genuinely enjoy not just our jobs, but working together.
My co-workers know they can rely on me, and I can rely on them. I was able to attend our company holiday party last month– it was swanky! I even got a black cocktail dress and heels. I attended solo and got to know my co-workers! And then danced all night. I felt very adult.
Even on days where it’s overwhelming or I feel tired, I never miss my previous job. I never question my decision to move on to where I am today. I never feel nostalgic for the simplicity of my previous job, in which I worked five years.
I imagine that’s how I’ll feel someday about my dating history: so at peace that I never think of the men who didn’t work out. But even without a current relationship, I’m starting to get there on my own. I have made some major progress !
On my loneliest days, I don’t long for my exes. I can finally say that! I understand why it didn’t work and know that it wouldn’t have been different in another time or if circumstances changed. I’m lucky that I had the chance to find closure with those relationships– some directly, and some by putting distance between myself and dating until I felt more centered
That time has been healing.
I don’t feel this need to be perfect anymore– for myself or anyone else.
Of course I’m always looking to learn and grow. I have dreams and goals.
But truly, I’m proud of who I am.
And that makes me happy.