A Benefit of Singlehood: More Lady Friends!

Driving home just now, I was overwhelmed with gratitude.

This past year, I’ve been focused on meeting and befriending women. And while male friendships are important too, it’s not the same. Even if you’ve been best friends for 20 years with a great male friend, it doesn’t compare to a close female friend who really knows you. Who will listen to you (with interest!) and remember those little details. Ask your advice on anything from an outfit to what to do about the man/woman in her life or whether or not to take a job. I miss that. All those inside jokes. Call and utter something totally deadpan that has you cracking up and suddenly your day is made! Men aren’t exactly dying for your input. They’re hilarious, great listeners, and of course, world-class problem solvers.

I still have wonderful women friends, but distance has watered-down the connections we had years ago. Literally. Several have moved to different states. Some are recently married or recent mothers, or just so busy juggling it all that you’re lucky to get a phone call a few times a month and scheduling time together.  And that’s just a reality of adulthood. Some I haven’t seen in years and am not sure when that will change, if ever. Life takes you in different directions. Replacing those female friendships has been a real challenge.

And now I feel it’s finally happening– I’m building a network again, locally.

As one of my newer friends calls it, I’m building my army of women!

The best thing is that the women who are showing up in my life are so varied! I remember my step-mother telling me years ago that once you’re older (30’sish) age doesn’t matter so much. And it’s true. I’ve got some fantastically vital women friends within a 25 year age gap. And it’s all inspiring!

I have a life! When I meet people now, I talk about myself– not my last date, or the guy I like, or even en ex.

I’ve BECOME interesting again– it took a lot of work. And that would never have happened had I not chosen to be single!

And committed to the decision.

I used to spend so much energy worrying about attracting and dating men. I was always reacting, anticipating. Now I’m decisive– I’m confident. I’m moving forward and building my life without consideration of any man. It’s the first time I’ve honestly been this inspired. That taste of independence is something I’ll never give up. I’m on way!

And while a love relationship is still something I want at the right time, it’s not the focus of my attention. It’s out there, I know that. It’ll find me when it’s meant to happen. I don’t need to scramble around anymore in search of it.

What a refreshing feeling! These women are buoying me up. They encourage me, challenge me, check up on me, and genuinely care. They rally.

I’ve met incredible women through my church choir, through mutual friends. I’ve got running friends now who want to do 5k’s!

There’s a lot of stability in my life right now. It’s reassuring. It’s invigorating.

I’m learning what I want and what I don’t. I’m feeling more confident than I have in years.

I’m a blogger. I’m Catholic. I’m a runner!

I’m ecstatic and full of gratitude.


2 comments on “A Benefit of Singlehood: More Lady Friends!

  1. Anyone who becomes friends with you is incredibly blessed!! I miss hanging out with you so much!

    • Leslie dear, thank you! I miss our movie nights with Ale-Up and grilled cheese, Christmas Eve sleep-overs with pancakes in the morning, and just being silly! We need to talk more. 🙂

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