Lent 2014: Giving Myself a Break

I am hard on myself. Always have been.

If I’m going to do something, I want to do it right or not at all.

I haven’t been blogging much because there are repairs being done in my apartment. I lost power in two rooms and it turned out, the whole apartment needed to be re-wired. It was such a big job that two electricians passed on it. But the guys who are working on it have done phenomenal work.

It’s actually kind of hilarious, because I had my alarm clock plugged in the kitchen. Boy, that got me out of bed! I had no power in my bedroom. When I lost power in my bathroom, I borrowed a large flashlight from my Dad and that was how I navigated. Having no power in my room seemed to be a great thing actually, because I had no ability to read in bed. I slept better and faster.

To compensate for the lack of light in the bathroom, I moved my make-up mirror, make-up and hair products to my desk– in the living room. And it worked fine! My desk faces a big window, and I just opened the blinds.

That’s how life is. You have to make constant adjustments when things break or don’t go according to plan. Large swatches of drywall had to be cut and removed to get this done. But they worked tirelessly, even into the night. Fortunately, I had a place to stay while this was being done.

Several switches have been replaced now. These workers are thorough. Any problem they found, they fixed– even if it wasn’t part of the original plan. My place is now entirely rewired, and by tonight it should be repainted as well.

I will be happy to return home, although a lot of work awaits me. I will have to move all the furniture back, replace the pictures on the walls. Clean up the dust– it’s everywhere! Even inside my closet, because that light was out too.

I’m grateful to be renting, since I definitely could not have afforded this myself if I owned it. I live in a safe building, and am fortunate to have a landlord that got this done quickly.

It’s all perspective.

This morning, I had planned to go to 9 a.m. Mass to get my ashes.

Ash Wednesday is always my favorite.

I missed it– because I overslept. My alarm clock was set 12 hours off.

At first I felt disappointed when I woke up, 49 minutes after I should have been there.

But I decided not to start the day with regret or self-admonition.

I decided instead to be grateful for the extra sleep, and move on with the day.

I can still get ashes tonight, and I will make that on time.

I will get my apartment set up again, and start over. Rise from the dust, just as we rise again from ashes.

I’m making a lot of progress in my life right now– but I just want to keep that to myself.

For a change this year, I won’t be declaring my Lent promise or reporting about it– either here or Facebook.

I’m keeping a promise to myself, and I’m keeping it privately.

I’m taking a break from this blog while I do that. I wish you all a wonderful Lent– don’t be so harsh with yourself.

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