Although no one LIKES to judge, it’s necessary. Drawing boundaries is healthy and our decisions are the foundation of our lives.
If you don’t have good judgement, people don’t respect or trust you. And why should they? People feel secure when they know you have a solid framework of morals and dignity. That way they know what to expect from you, and what is acceptable and especially unacceptable. If you don’t demonstrate that you value and trust yourself by your actions, you’re likely insecure and prone to doing whatever benefits you at the moment– including throwing others under the bus.
And who we surround ourselves with is what we become. And although I try to give most people a chance, I also use common sense.
There is a point when you’ve given people enough chances, and you need to remove them from your life.
That’s not being mean. It’s showing respect toward yourself, and giving that person a vital message: they need to change.
And being “Christian,” and forgiving others does not entail putting up with endless disrespectful or untruthful behavior. We have an obligation to ourselves to draw a line for protection. That’s loving to both ourselves and others. We are obligated to let others know our expectations, and stand firm. And also, if you respect someone the most loving thing to do is be honest and give them natural consequences for their actions. So if someone consistently disrespects you, acts in a deceptive manner, or disrespects others in your presence the consequences are losing friends, a relationship, a job or what have you.
We all make mistakes and occasionally have a bad day where we may snap at someone, let them down, or let ourselves down.
But it’s up to us to prove that it’s the exception, not the rule. To learn from our mistakes, and to move forward in growth.
Only then do we become the people we want to be, and that others cherish having in their lives. If we adhere to our values and treat ourselves and others with respect and loyalty, we are given the gift of benevolence.
If we defend ourselves, others will defend us as well. But we each have to fight our own battles, every day.