The First Halloween I Didn’t Dress Up

Halloween used to be my favorite holiday– and mostly, that’s still true.

I’ve been obsessed with the color orange since high school, at least. That’ll never change. I dig horror, and all the spooky propaganda that goes along with Halloween. Corn mazes, haunted houses, jack o’ lanterns– all of it.

But I used to get really into costumes myself– and this is the first year I’m just apathetic about it. I could have gone to a costume party last night. I was on my way, actually. For the first time in my life, I didn’t even try to put together a costume. No shopping, no thought. I just looked in my closet and put on something I thought would be comfortable. The invitation said it would be outside, and that we should dress warm.

I have some pink overalls– they’re actually snow pants. I’m talking cotton candy pink. I put those on, over an obnoxiously neon orange running pullover, with some bright gloves. Plus, a lumberjack type snow hat– the kind with the ear flaps. I figured I’d be warm and bright and I’d just let people make up their own ideas for my costume.

But I drove around for awhile and couldn’t find it, despite calling for help with directions. It was dark, I was tired after work, and I was just feeling like having a quiet night at home. So I texted my friend and apologized, but she was cool with it. She’s a bit of an introvert too, so she understood.

I rented “The Lost Boys,” and relaxed at home in my pajamas instead.

I just wanted to be myself. I used to be so festive– so happy about putting on costumes, for any excuse. I still enjoy it sometimes– but it’s just not a thing for me anymore most of the the time. I’ve gotten rid of most of my old costumes, and a lot of my older clothes.

I could still dress up, I’m sure there will be other opportunities to go out. But I’m tired of strangers hitting on me at the bars, and I have no desire to put on anything remotely sexy as a costume. I have no desire to go shopping or assemble anything. I actually am supposed to dress up for a work meeting– but it’ll be very simple.

I’m all about simplifying these days.

Moreover, I just like myself the way I am.

And that’s something I’m proud of.


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