The Hardest Thing about Dating

Is deciding your boundaries. What are the deal-breakers? At what point do you walk away?

I’ve used religion as a dividing line, and maybe that was wrong. So many others in my family had no trouble finding Catholic spouses– not sure why it’s been so difficult for me. Maybe God is telling me to look beyond labels?

But it’s hard, because although my faith is strong it truly is something I want to share in a relationship. I don’t want to go to Mass alone forever. And I’ve gone to other churches, but I only feel at home in a Catholic one. I’ve been so open-minded, it only makes sense that I start making some clear decisions about what I’m seeking.

I used to think I knew exactly what I was doing… but I have to admit, I don’t.

With online dating, you’re evaluating a bunch of stats. It’s words on a screen with some pictures.

But in person, you’re dealing with a person’s energy. And we’re not conveniently attracted to someone who lines up with our ideal checklist. Sometimes they may be opposite of what you thought you wanted. But does that mean you could be any less happy with them? Truly, I’m not sure. Maybe they are meant to balance you. Maybe the point of love is to not just challenge, but overcome our preconceived notions.

Maybe  admitting I DON’T have the answers is the best thing I CAN do. Did I make the right decisions? I don’t know.

I think the key to being happy is accepting people as they are, and dropping your self-righteousness.

Being OPEN to possibility. That’s the scary part.

God has all sorts of surprises for us.

The question is, do we open the present, or send it back because it’s not in the right wrapping?

That’s the question I’m still working on answering.


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