Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Pike: A Couple with Equal Challenge and Parity

Just watched “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” the original MOVIE.

Way superior to the series, although I love what Joss did with it. I watched all seven seasons.

Kristy Swanson and Luke Perry are great in these roles– probably my favorites of them both. Not to mention David Arquette, Paul Ruebens, Hilary Swank and Donald Sutherland– and young Ricki Lake, Seth Greene and Ben Affleck as extras!

It’s infinitely quotable.

But really, I like this movie because the relationship between Buffy and Pike is one of two equals. She leads a very superficial life until she is recruited by Merrick as “The Chosen One.” She resists her calling, but finally accepts it– partially because Pike believes in her and is the supportive partner she needs to feel confident.

Pike’s strong rebellious streak enflames her own. He changes her, from a girl to a woman. And I don’t mean sexually– in the movie they have a chaste relationship. The most you see is a slow dance and a few kisses at the end. I mean that he is masculine enough for her to feel safe becoming vulnerable– and consequentially owning her feminine power of intuition. She can own her emotions– whereas with everyone else, she hides behind a mask of apathy or frozen anger.

Buffy may be “The Chosen One,”– The Slayer– but she’s still  a human woman. She’s still insecure, not sure that she is ready to take on such a responsibility. She doesn’t believe in her own power. With her school friends, she was the leader. Her boyfriend thought she was hot, but they had a pretty vacuous relationship that faltered once she began to realize that other things were more important than cheerleading and dance committee– like saving people’s lives. It was a huge sacrifice–and one she didn’t want to make. But eventually she realizes it’s her destiny and that she is the only one with the power to help her friends and stop what’s happening.

Her boyfriend Jeffrey and the other boys at school had mainly just drooled over her– they didn’t care about who she was or care about much of anything, other than basketball.

When Buffy begins slaying and starts to change, everyone is frightened by her. They don’t want to know what’s going on with her, or how they can help. They just are uncomfortable with her new awareness, because that would force them to question themselves– which they are too vapid to care about doing. They’re more comfortable with ignorance.

But when she meets Pike, he is intrigued by her mystery. He wants to find out who she is, how she can be so powerful.  And he’s drawn to her power, rather than threatened. He wants to fight by her side– but trusts her instincts. When she wants to give up, he challenges her and is the only one who cares enough to tell her the truth. He doesn’t give up on a relationship with her, but is patient until she is comfortable with it.

They are transformed by each other. They become better people, for each other.

That’s the thing about love: it’s transformative. It makes you a better person. It forces you to grow and become the person you need to be– it elevates you.

Intellectually, emotionally, spiritually.

Buffy is fierce and unapologetic. When a male friend at school  passes her in the hallway,  he grabs her ass and says, “Got to get some.” Buffy body slams to the ground, then into a locker. He stammers apologies– visibly shaking. “Don’t grab me, OK?” is all Buffy says. Jeffrey, her boyfriend, tries to comfort her– but she shoves him off and says, “I can take care of myself.” He feels completely emasculated, and they drift farther apart.

As the Slayer, Buffy is now constantly hunting and killing vampires. Her instincts are now for defense. No one knows how to act around her. And they honestly don’t much care. They merely distance themselves from her, and Buffy retreats into isolation.

Except she does open up to Pike. Because he understands what she is going through.  Pike allows her to set the pace of the relationship– backing off when she needs– but always there, always ready to welcome her back or help her in any way he can.

And that’s what your true partner does– they meet you as an equal. They challenge. But most of all, they aren’t too proud to meet you halfway and compromise to meet the needs of your relationship. They vow to change WITH you, and accept you for all your quirks, past, and insecurities.

This year I’ve opened my heart to God in a new way. And slowly, my heart is opening more.

Patience is the key to my heart. Patience, and being a steadfast man who follows through on what he says.

The more I trust myself, the more I’m open to possibility.


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