I’ve always been a fanatical advocate of bacon.
But on Memorial Day, I was remiss with my sunblock . Consequently, my back FELT like a piece of bacon!
I went to the beach for a few hours with a girlfriend, and used a new can with a nozzle that was difficult to operate. I covered myself pretty good, except on my back. I usually have no problem with my brand, but this one was a spray lotion and didn’t work as well. The only place I got burned was on my back and a little bit on my chest.
My friend warned me that I was “lobster red,” and a few hours later, I was afire. OWWIE!
I went over to my parents afterward for a cook-out, and thank goodness they helped me out.
My Dad’s always had a surefire remedy for sunburns, as he grew up on a Kansas farm.
Vinegar, applied ASAP– and before you shower or put any water on it.
“Takes the fire out,” as my Dad says. It’s shocking how many people have never heard of this, but it really works.
I haven’t been sun-burned this bad since I was a kid! I usually put SPF 30 on my face and SPF 50 or 70 sunblock all over when swimming. I almost never burn, and although I’m pale I’m genetically blessed with the ability to tan.
They had a spray bottle and mixed in some vinegar, and I went outside and was misted with it. As the vinegar settled into my pores, it stung! I was alternately cringing and laughing, because the whole thing was so ridiculous.
Then I went inside, and the wafting vinegar fumes were overwhelming! I started coughing, and my family looked at me with amusement. I didn’t last two minutes in the kitchen before giving up and declaring that I would go outside and air myself out.
As I sat outside on the back porch, I couldn’t help giggling at myself. I sat in the chair gingerly, then leaned forward. Then I got up and walked around, enjoying the open air. Inside, I had felt like an hard-boiled egg about to be dyed on Easter! And smelled like one. Eww.
After about 10 or so minutes, I came back inside. The fumes were gone.
Then my Dad mentioned aloe gel, and disappeared. He returned with the most hilarious thing ever– a bottle of aloe gel I’d bought him years ago, as a half-joke. He actually use this stuff, but the funny thing is the name.
It’s from a line made specifically for bald men– and my Dad’s been rocking a “Friar Tuck” hair cut for my entire life. His head always gets sunburned, so I got that for him one year for Father’s Day. The line is called “Bald Guyz,” and the tube was full.
My Dad handed me the Bald Guyz aloe gel, and I couldn’t help laughing. So I slathered on this stuff, which indeed did calm some of the burning sensation.
First I was misted with vinegar water from a spray bottle, then I’m putting on bald men’s aloe gel. If this isn’t ripe material for stand-up, I don’t know what is!
Not a good feeling. It’s Thursday, and finally I can begin to move without wincing.
That was Monday. Yesterday, I re-applied the vinegar water mist and aloe gel.
Yesterday, my back was still an angry pink. It felt tight, and glancing back at it, I felt like I literally HAD been cooked.
I’m lucky, it didn’t blister or get too bad. But wow! The vinegar did its job, and so far I haven’t peeled at all.
People who have seen me in the past few days have gotten a laugh out of seeing me.
“Wow, YOU got some sun!”
That I did. And next time, I’ll know better!